We are certainly not planning to start in early September by simply launching into the new timetable, reminding our pupils of the processes in place and expecting them to just ‘get on with things.’  As always, we need to be mindful of their happiness and wellbeing in all we do too.

Insecurity, confusion, trepidation, bewilderment have all been emotions that have hit many of us by the bucketload since the Spring.  As part of our 3-day staff INSET at school, we have been considering how our children may have fared, what the long-term effects of Covid-19 on them may be, and how might best help them plot a course through it all, whatever their age and stage of development.  As we do all we can working in partnership with you as parents, I thought it might be useful to share some of the advice from psychologists and other professionals that we have been chewing over together in school in the build-up to the children’s return.

As ever, I firmly believe that any discussion of this type must be underpinned by the assumption that ‘no one size fits all’ when we think about children. Children are not an homogenous troop and we must focus on – and be guided by – each child. Each one is different, and should be celebrated for being so, and it is likely that each child’s reaction to the pandemic may well be different too.  I therefore feel that we need to start with them, rather than with what is happening in the wider world or our perspective upon events. 

Positively, what I do know is that young people are resilient, and while we may not know for some time how they have been affected by the pandemic, they are hard-wired to cope.  Especially with the right support in place from the team of people around them, their bounce-back-ability often takes us by surprise as those that care for them. However, children who have previously experienced difficulties, or are perhaps are already anxious, sensitive, or have experienced trauma, loss or bereavement may be acutely affected, so we certainly need to be particularly mindful of the needs of these young people moving forwards.

So, accepting that there is no single approach that will work best for every child, what is the general advice from psychologists?

Younger Children

Most children over the age of three will be aware that something very strange has been going on – and they may be worried. We therefore need to be alert for signs of this worry, which can include sleep disturbances, clinginess, an unusual level of nervousness and excessive handwashing, for example.  If you see these changes in your child’s behaviour, go out of your way to reassure them and do let us know in school.  We are here to help!

Try not to let fear dominate, consultant clinical psychologist Emma Citron maintains – and try let children lead on any worries they may have, rather than imposing our own as adults. “For example, don’t spend all the time leaping in with warnings – Don’t touch those railings!’; ‘You’re going too close to that man!’ Instead, it might be more beneficial to say something like, ‘Remember, we’re meant to be keeping social distancing.’ If we can get across essential messages while remaining calm and relatively unruffled, so much the better.  In this way, children will feel safer and that life is more predictable – and we’ll be signalling that they have permission to ask the questions they want to ask without upsetting us or making us anxious.”

It may appear obvious but, as Laverne Antrobus, a colleague at the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust, suggests, it is important to meet children’s concerns in an age-appropriate way. “When a child asks something, such as, ‘When is the virus going?’, we might first ask what they know and what they’re worried about,” she says.  We can then respond in the right tone and appropriate language, starting from their knowledge and where they are.

David Messer, developmental psychologist and professor of education at the Open University, advocates that being honest with children, even when we are feeling somewhat unsure ourselves, is typically the most helpful strategy. “Children can pick up very quickly on our fears, so it’s better to be open about your own anxieties – maybe it doesn’t seem ideal, but there are downsides to letting children live in a happy but unreal bubble,” he stated in a recent article.  Indeed, Antrobus feels that the pandemic may have brought a new level of honesty into family life in some households. “In the past, parents might have said ‘Don’t worry’ to their children – but the pandemic means they’ve seen their parents worried, so it’s put everything on the table.” We may think we are hiding our own anxieties, but many children pick up on our fears and apprehension far more than we might expect.  As with all periods of difficulty, this time can be seen as a learning opportunity that, in the long term, could boost resilience.  Antrobus states, “It’s about managing the setbacks and knocks and showing children how to use them to become stronger – and that doesn’t mean airbrushing them out, or pretending they’re not there, it means being clear about the fact that we’ve all been worried, that the virus is an unknown and in many ways it remains an unknown…..we need to show children that we can survive, even if things go against us in the future.  So, if there are problems ahead with, for example, a second wave, then, yes, we’ll be disappointed – but we will get through.” Thus, according to Antrobus, it may well be beneficial to acknowledge that there is a problem, but that it can be overcome; and that children are not usually at risk.  Perhaps something like, “I’ve been worried, and lots of other people have been worried. It’s a difficult situation; and you might get it, although people of your age often don’t even notice they have it. It’s not a big risk to people of your age or my age, and we will get through it, and that’s why we’re doing all these new things you can see, like people wearing masks and washing your hands more often at school.”

As the start of term draws closer, we have contacted you about the processes in place to keep us all as safe as possible, whilst returning to as school that, for the most part, operates as it did last September.  It might be useful to find time to run through some of the updated guidance with your child, because, even though most children returned to school before the summer break, some measures may feel a little strange and take some getting used to for all of us.  If your child is anxious about change or new situations, you might even try a bit of role-play to help them find solutions to scenarios they are worried about.  We would certainly want to know about any apprehensions, so we can attend to them in school as well!

Older Pupils

Interestingly, clinical psychologist Dave Spellman says that it is a mistake to think all adolescents found the alterations in their lives due to lockdown difficult. “Many of the adolescents I’ve been in touch with have been surprisingly OK with it.  Lockdown gave them the chance to sidestep some of the anxieties and pressures they’re usually up against… Some older children really enjoyed spending time in a safe bubble at home” …. and even spending time with their family perhaps?

Many older pupils will be relishing the chance to get out and about again – but some may need support to throw themselves back into the world.  Once more, we are here to help them and you as parents, always trying to see the world from their point of view. We all know that ‘Sunday night’ feeling before we go back to work after a break, so it would be rather surprising if young people did not experience similar emotions after so long away from school, even if they have a fantastic time when they return.  I am so pleased we were able to invite all the children back to school before the summer, which provided a boost for us all, but some pupils may well feel still some unease as the holiday comes to an end. Likewise, children may be at that stage of their development where friendships and relationships with their peers may not be a straightforward as they once were.  They may need help and reassurance from both parents and teachers, as well as opportunities to talk through any concerns and help to rekindle the social bonds with their classmates.  This will certainly be at the forefront of our minds at this end as we start the new term.

Final thoughts

So, once again, whilst there are well-defined processes in place to keep us all safe, we are certainly not planning to start next term by simply launching into the new timetable and expecting our pupils to just ‘get on with things.’  We all need to reconnect as a community and meet the children wherever they are academically, emotionally and socially.  Children may be in very different places and need to know that this is absolutely fine and that we will all work alongside them to put in place whatever is required for them to thrive – across every aspect of their lives.   

As we repeatedly remind ourselves as colleagues at All Hallows, while the children are at the heart of all we do, it is also important to look after our own wellbeing.  This will have a huge effect on how the children deal with all that happening, so try not to forget to look after your own needs, and to seek support if you are finding it tough.

Please do not hesitate to get in touch if any queries or questions arise.  We are here to help in any way we can.

For now, I hope you enjoy the final few days of the summer break and I look forward to catching up with you around the start of term.